蝶 Cho

Rock N Roll Circus

2012-02-02T17:59:00.003+08:00

quite some time ago. didn't listen to the album at all. just fell in love with her jacket cover shoot.

and my love for the old english font.

it's february. cupid's day. whatever.

Get outta my head.

2012-01-20T17:58:00.002+08:00

Dear thoughts,

Please stop haunting me. Stop lingering around, stop making me think of the worst. Stop whatever you are doing to me and get out of my head. I need a clear head or maybe I just need to stop thinking. I have been thinking ever since I was born and nothing good comes out of it. So just stop.

Sincerely, Me.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

2011-12-02T11:23:00.002+08:00

random fact: the last movie i have watched, the last time i checked, was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part II.

when i say "movie" i refer to actually watching the film at the theater.

so it has been about 4 months.

yep.

1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you. RUN AWAY NOW.

2011-11-24T22:36:00.002+08:00

series of unfortunate events:

1. same lift with some dude who smells worse than rotten salted fish.

2. dude happened to be walking same way as me.

3. started drizzling when i stepped out of the building, with rotten salted fish trail in front.

4. whilst pulling along the big and bulky stash, despite all the shit which happened within 10 minutes, a puff of smoke came out from the ongoing construction. white smoke with toxic smell.

so you can imagine. on my front it was the rotten salted fish trail.

on my left, the sudden puff of toxic smoke. on my right, the road. with heavy traffic.

behind me, i was lugging the big and bulky stash.

i can't step outta the path i am walking on to avoid the horrible air around me during that time. the path was narrow.

i know i am human because of my flaws.

2011-11-15T10:37:00.003+08:00

it doesn't matter who is right or who is wrong.

when everyone is doing the same and you happen to be doing things differently, it will be YOU who becomes the one with problems instead.

i think i have lost the principle of being human.

oh wow.

2011-10-28T19:56:00.001+08:00

wouldn't it be awesome if i woke up the next day and realised i have shed 20kg overnight?

i will be thrilled to bits.

easily the best thing that can happen to me.

hurhur.

Goodbye Grandma

2011-10-18T18:25:00.001+08:00

You will be missed dearly.

Love, your grand daughter.

The Annual Wall Spam of Good Wishes.

2011-10-15T11:18:00.002+08:00

well i really hope i could get a written letter...

If I Die Young

2011-10-08T18:34:00.000+08:00

if i die young bury me in satin
lay me down on a bed of roses
sink me in the river at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song
ooh ooh ooh ooh

lord make me a rainbow I'll shine down on my mother
she'll know I'm safe with you and she stands under my colors
oh and life ain't always what you think it ought to be
no ain't even gray but she buries her baby
the sharp knife of a short life
well I've had just enough time

if i die young bury me in satin
lay me down on a bed of roses
sink me in the river at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song
the sharp knife of a short life
well, i have just enough time

and I'll be wearing white
when i come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I've never known the lovin' of man
but it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand
there's a boy here in town
who says he'll love me forever
who would have thought forever could be severed
by the sharp knife of a short life
well I've had just enough time

so put on your best clothes, and I'll wear my pearls
what i never did is done
a penny for my thoughts oh no I'll sell 'em for a dollar
they're worth so much more after I'm a goner
and maybe then you'll hear the words that I've been singin'
its funny when your dead how people start listenin'

if i die young bury me in satin
lay me down on a bed of roses
sink me in the river at dawn
send me away with the words of a love song
ooh ooh the ballad of a dove
go with peace and love
gather up your tears and keep them in your pocket
save em for a time when your really gonna need em.
oh the sharp knife of a short life
well I've had just enough time
so put on your best boys, and I'll wear my pearls

Falling through the cracks.

2011-10-07T22:42:00.002+08:00

fucking depressing to be at home right now.

very pissed with exploiter.

hence i am pissing her off too to get even.

yeah screw you.

for not being appreciative.

and problematic whore. idk how the hell you managed to pass your interview because you certainly are of no use.

in my perspective.

and i honestly believe my comrades/friends can do a much better job.

so screw you and i hope you have bad days for all your fridays.

Don't Bother.

2011-09-21T16:34:00.003+08:00

people or should i say friends, no matter how close you thought you are with them, you can never ever be totally at ease or honest with them.

why?

because by telling them the truth, how you really feel about things, breaks the surface and all the time, no matter how much people insist they'd rather know the truth, they can't handle it.

and THAT is the truth.

people can't handle it.

and people know.

so they always ALWAYS put on a brave front, a fake mask, anything to cover up their true feelings.

they will never tell you their bad news.

2 ways to look at it.

one.

because it will be a burden to the receiver.

they feel that they should not bother people with their problems because everyone has their own problems their own battle to fight as well.

two.

because it's like punching yourself in the face.

"why do i have to put myself down in front of others? even if its my friend. because people JUDGE."

or "this is so embarrassing i'd rather nobody knows."

so it's really simple to know who are the ones you should really keep in your life and who are the ones you can, well, let them be.

the ones who are willing to take the crucial step to assure you they truly care and not just mildly curious or just wanna be "in touch with the latest updates/news."

apart from my teddy bears/imaginary friends/voices in my head, i think real human beings accounted for are less than the fingers on one hand.

now when someone who you were close with suddenly drifts apart, it's not because he/she doesn't care anymore.

it takes effort time and commitment to care about someone, to know what's going on in their life, what they are going through, how you can be there for them.

it's TIRING to keep that commitment to one person.

let alone the rest of people/friends.

so be FORGIVING and UNDERSTANDING.

drifting apart doesn't mean throwing you away.

now, if i were to tell you i care about you, would you be honest with me?

i bet on a mac breakfast that the answer will be no.

because people need to be assured.

they need proof that you mean what you said.

being with people is so tough.

that's why i like cats better.

they don't care about you. at all. but you like them anyway.

i recalled a conversation with an adult family friend and as i voice out what i honestly felt about some issues he said this to me:"你是不是对这个社会很不满？"

i told him yeah. this world is crazy.

why oh why

2011-09-16T02:25:00.002+08:00

so fucking sad.

my wallet is getting so slim i wish i was the one shedding weight.

i can finally drop my dumpling head to a decent fringe.

it is however not long enough so it tends to cover one third of my face and one of my eyes.

which i think looks okay on pictures but it's really frustrating to handle them when i am walking and with the wind messing it up every few minutes.

and as my hair grows longer it grows thicker and the ends and roots get so dry its fucking hay.

plus i have to keep reminding myself the purpose of me growing out my hair.

so that i won't go hack it all off again on a spur of moment just because i felt so frustrated with it then.

Come Clean

2011-09-14T21:02:00.003+08:00

Let's go back

Back to the beginning

Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

Cause perfect doesn't feel so perfect

Trying to fit a square into a circle was my life

I defy

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down

I'm coming clean

I'm shedding

Shedding every colour

Trying to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin, ohh

Cause different doesn't feel so different

And going out is better than always staying in

Feel the wind

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down

I'm coming clean

Let the rain fall

Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down

I'm coming clean

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams

Let it wash away my sanity

Cause I wanna feel the thunder I wanna scream

Let the rain fall down

I'm coming clean

Let's go back

Back to the beginning

screw you words.

2011-08-31T18:33:00.003+08:00

let it be.

those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

WRONG.

lies.

it's all bullshit.

because you can't let it be.

because those who matter DO mind.

and fuck those who don't matter and what they think.

shut down and shut off.

2011-08-22T23:44:00.001+08:00

i used to wish i can go for away even for awhile.

now i don't even dare to ask for that.

all i ask for is a good night sleep and to wake up knowing i can look forward to a beautiful day.

2011-08-15T11:07:00.002+08:00

Hogwarts House Psychoanalysis

Gryffindor

True Gryffindors have a very strong sense of what is right and what is wrong, and this is a part of what gives them such strong opinions. Depending on the person, this may be taken to a Borderline degree, and they may see people as either good or evil, not in between and no chance of redemption for those on the darker sides of things. Alternately, Gryffindors may see all people as being initially good, and only making the wrong choices take the down the wrong road. Both of these behaviours are why Gryffindors and Slytherins can easily clash. Gryffindors are usually incredibly intelligent, but they tend to be slackers, more focused on getting a taste of something new than sticking to responsibility. This can be their downfall from success, or quite the opposite, bringing them a rise up into something they love. Once they find their true place in the world, Gryffindors will often use their accomplishments to the benefit of others in some form or fashion. Actors, singers and athletes can often be classified as Gryffindors. Despite their good intentions, they can also quite often be ill-tempered and overly emotional, which is their Achilles’ Heel in most instances. A darker Gryffindor may become out of control because of this, hurting those they love or holding a grudge for many years.

Hufflepuff

Essentially, Hufflepuffs see the world and their people as ultimately good, and only the darkness of the inevitable turning them away from what they think is right. Because of this, they tend to treat everyone fairly and with sympathy, trying to put themselves in the other person’s shoes before judging them, if they judge them at all. Hufflepuffs are almost always maternal or paternal types, ready to take care of anyone who may come to them. They are dedicated to what they do, and are very focused on making sure everything is done properly, leaving no room for error. Mostly, Hufflepuffs think what they do is right, and Ravenclaws who doubt them may annoy them, but Hufflepuffs hate conflict, so they tend to ignore their irritation. Hufflepuffs are very passive aggressive, doing little things subconsciously when someone makes them angry. This is usually the farthest they will go so far as revenge, as they rarely want to participate in any form of violence. Hufflepuffs are healers in nature, wishing to care to the needs of others. Many nurses, cooks, teachers or counselors are Hufflepuffs.

Ravenclaw

Intelligent and insightful, Ravenclaws are not ones to classify people under any certain category. Instead they often ponder on humanity, what is good, what is evil and why we should classify people as one or the other. Ravenclaws are very philosophical, and often you may see them simply staring off into space, but this is not in some brainless manner, in fact they are exploring the gears of their mind and trying to figure out how the world works. Ravenclaws are focused on their work, but they often don’t need effort. They tend to pick up on every detail and remember it without even trying, something that others may be skeptical of or be jealous of. This can give some a sense of superiority and the idea they should tell everyone the right way to do something, which can easily make others, especially nervous Hufflepuffs or emotional Gryffindors, very irritated. Ravenclaws are very analytic, and this can be very good or very bad. For the kind-hearted this will be a way to help others, for the dark they can use this to twist and manipulate. Ravenclaws are not every emotional, instead they tend to put up a wall and not let anyone in except for perhaps their closest friends or family. Instead they pick at the minds of others, trying to figure out how they work and to see if they themselves are different, or just the same as everyone else. Psychologists, professors and investigators are often Ravenclaws.

Slytherin

Slytherins have a more cynical view on the world, and believe that there is darkness in the hearts of all, some are just unwilling to accept it. They think anyone who doesn’t realize this is naive or perhaps even stupid, and because of this they can easily clash with Gryffindors or laugh at Hufflepuffs. This said, Slytherins are absolutely in no way evil, some are actually very good. They simply have a drive that carries their life, and if you get in their way you better watch out. Slytherins have an almost bloodthirsty craving for success, and if they don’t think they can achieve this then they can easily fall into a darker place of self-loathing and take this out on others. Love and accomplishment are the two things that mean the most to them, and they do not understand that the need for the latter can drive away the former, and when the feeling of pride fades or they fail at something, their possible lack of something dear and close to them can hit, and when it hits it hits hard. Slytherins are very emotional, however unlike Gryffindors they very rarely show it. Instead they bottle it up, using it in other ways, some of which may be artistic. Slytherins can very easily connect to art or music. Slytherins usually pick one subject they feel for and stick with it, rather than focusing on them all. This can be an issue academically, and some Slytherins may even drop out of school, but despite this their ambition will drive them to doing something they love, or they will have a downward spiral into depression. Lawyers, doctors and artists are often Slytherins.

This is simply based upon my opinion and obviously does not apply to everyone within every house. Do not take this too seriously as to get offended by anything I say. If you enjoy this and wish for me to analyze combined houses, like this post.

Submitted by existentialnihilist

Interpret.

2011-08-09T16:04:00.001+08:00

Symbols rule the world, not words.

How many flags were seen hanging in your neighbourhood this year?

食字路口！

2011-07-30T09:39:00.002+08:00

6.00PM

gathered at Katong Shopping Centre and walked down many alleys to An Pang Yong Tao Fu shop to have YONG TAO FU.

7.15PM

went to the fruit stall next door to have yet another durian fest. My 3rd time this month. O.O

We stood around the table and ate. AWESOME.

7.45PM

head to AWFULLY CHOCOLATE and i ate 2 dark chocolate truffles, Derrick ordered butter-scorched coffee. Michelle and Leo drank tea, Mom tried sea salt pork belly meat on a satay stick.

8.30PM

head back to Katong Shopping Centre and went to the awesome dessert store which sells traditional Hong Kong style dessert. We ordered mango pudding, chicken bites, dumpling, sesame broth of some sort and some other form of hong kong style dessert.

9.00PM

went to Tio Heng for karaoke session.

awesome night.

half the time people have no fucking idea what the fuck they are talking about. myself included.

2011-07-28T18:24:00.003+08:00

during that incident you were pissed off because grandpa sided grandma and not the matter of issue.

he was being biased.

true enough he was.

i understood the reason of your anger.

today, you fucking blame the customer service officer who is attempting to solve this fucking problem, calling her incompetent, all sorts of insults you can think of.

first of all.

if you can spend your time hurling insults and abuse to someone ON PURPOSE behind your god damn phone, it doesn't solve the fucking problem, it doesn't make the situation better (probably just your fucking ego) and it only shows you're a fucking coward. like what most people are.

second.

since the customer service officer failed to solve the issue and is as crap as you claim them to be.

fine.

i can't solve the problem either, that's why i called.

but if you can argue with me over what SHOULD be the RIGHT WAY TO DO, why don't you be my guest and knock yourself out to solve the problem.

and stop wasting time talking. it's straining my ears, and i'd rather listen to silence than your voice.

but no.

you push all the fucking blame to someone whose job is to help you solve your problem.

and provided lip service.

and when customer service officer asked us to log in to check the settings,

we couldn't even provide them the correct log in details.

because the user, let just say us, as a group, CAN'T EVEN GET THE BLOODY PASSWORD RIGHT.

not sure of your password.

i had to keep calling to ask for the log in details, and the "user" went around in circles and the conversation was a total waste of time.

texted me the log in details which is wrong, and called to say:"i am not sure i think it's (some other password)"

IF YOU CAN'T GET EVEN YOUR LOGIN DETAILS RIGHT HOW DO YOU EXPECT OTHERS TO HELP YOU WITH YOUR FUCKING ISSUE.

对事不对人 indeed.

you are not as impartial as you thought you are.

you put the entire blame on someone who is trying to help you solve your problem.

when your side has issues too.

so STFU.

wasted my whole afternoon and i had to cancel my appointment and people who don't get the whole story will misunderstood (again) and get annoyed at me because i cancel on them.

so THANK YOU FOR ALL THAT SHIT.

fuckers.

[寂寞寂寞就好]

2011-07-27T04:20:00.002+08:00

还是原来那个我
不过流掉几公升泪所以变瘦
对着镜子我承诺
迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容

不算什么爱错就爱错
早点认错早一点解脱

我寂寞寂寞就好
这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到
受不了想到快疯掉死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到
忘不了赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的借来的都该还掉
我总会把你戒掉

还是原来那个你
是我自己做梦你又改变什么
再多的爱也没用
每个人要每个人的孽障因果
会有什么什么都没有
早点看破才看得见以后 OH

我寂寞寂寞就好
这时候谁来都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到
受不了想到快疯掉死不了就还好

我寂寞寂寞就好
你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到
忘不了赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的我总会把你戒掉

Dear Blank,

2011-07-24T15:00:00.002+08:00

I kind of miss you, not as in i miss you because i like you but i miss talking to you everyday like we used to, talk as friends, talk about anything and everything all day everyday, spilling our emotions talking about music and our problems, everything. i just miss when we used to talk, now it's like we don't even know each other anymore and it kind of hurts, even though we weren't anything, it still hurts knowing we've grown apart and it went by so quickly, i wish i could have you back in the way where we'd just rely on each other, as friends.

Dear Father

2011-07-23T14:07:00.005+08:00

i'm not living to prove you wrong, dad.

i'm not buying stuffs to prove anything to you.

i am living for myself and buying stuffs for myself while you whine about how unfair life is.

life is unfair.

yes, we may not be the lucky ones who get to enjoy the finer things in life.

but we can. if you change your attitude.

which unfortunately, is something you will never get to do.

because of your pride and your huge ego.

which in my opinion, is not priceless, it's the only thing that is standing in your way.

it's true that i appreciate and am eternally grateful for all the things you have done for me, from the very first day when i breathe life till now.

i think you are good enough for me.

but i am never good enough for you.

because i am an embarrassment to you.

people don't need words be shot to them straight in the face to feel the perspective other people have on them.

because people have feelings.

and trust me, i can totally feel what you think of me.

but you know what?

i am perfectly happy with what i have right now.

yes i am not content nor satisfied.

i will always want something more.

because it is being human that we will always have desire, the need to want.

i still have a lot to learn, a lot to improve on.

but i feel that i have grown.

i have learnt from what life has given me.

and i will stand up for what i think is right.

even if it means standing alone.

Random Facts.

2011-07-20T22:20:00.002+08:00

1. I like my coffee sweet and my chocolates bitter.

2. I can write really fast. Especially when I copy notes during a lecture. However, my handwriting is awful and looks like crap.

3. I fancy cursive handwriting and I can write pretty decently with that, at a much slower pace.

4. I used to type with my 2 index fingers and I eventually learnt the proper way by using the computer 24/7 for the past several years.

5. I used to hate Starbucks, Macdonalds and Matcha Green Tea. Now, I cannot live without them.

6. I can text without looking on a normal keypad. Now that I have an iPhone, another one of my very few talents has been put to sleep.

7. I think about the same bunch of people everyday.

Choice.

2011-07-20T20:43:00.003+08:00

It is NOT destiny that determines love.

It is choice.

Our so-called destiny is a lie.

Relationships last long NOT because they are destined to.

Relationships last long because TWO brave people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it, to work for it.

Meanwhile, other relationships fail NOT because they are destined to fail.

They failed because one of the two or both made the choice - to set each of the other free.

I choose to be a friend.

2011-07-11T21:34:00.004+08:00

if given a choice, and i think i was given one, i choose to be a friend.

just one of the many thoughts that are flowing through my head even though i am in the midst of a crisis right now.

people may think that working under stress may be beneficial because it stimulates and motivates you.

but i know i am someone who cannot work under stress.

working under pressure or rushing me on a deadline only makes me less efficient.

yeah, i have the artist attitude.

which is totally unacceptable to most people out there...

sucks to be a minority in many aspects of life.

sucks to be me.

anyway back to the topic.

i choose to be a friend because, i believe friends are forever.

friends can be forever.

yes there are some limits and boundaries in a friendship.

perhaps it's the way i have been living my life,

i feel that i am able forgo the finer things which "more than friends" have to offer in order to have that person in my life forever.

it's like saying: yeah we are not together, we don't share or experience together as much as a couple does.

that is definitely the downside.

but seriously, relationships just don't work out these days.

so i find friendship more reliable? i guess.

and i know that being friends with people whom you broke up with is possible but it's just not the same anymore.

there will be awkwardness and the fear of being close again.

but then again it will hurt real bad when your "friend" found someone to spend the rest of his/her life with and it sucks big time that you are not a part of it.

and it will probably be the biggest regret of your life.

when it really does come down to that, i shall remind myself that it was a choice i made and i just have to live with it.

this seems to be one of those sticking in the comfort zone, afraid to take a chance kind of idea.

but i truly believe in setting the one you love free.

and that "it is never meaningless to love someone no matter how much pain it causes"

and "wanting him/her to be happy is and will always be more important than wanting him/her."

these to me are noble and meaningful.

if you can truly put someone else's feelings above your own,

it will be one of the greatest things you achieve in your life.

so yeah.

this is just my thoughts at the moment.

i know i have always been someone who missed out a lot in life.

it sucks. to merely exist and not live.

but at the same time it is intriguing to see and view the world as an audience.

like seeing people live their lives instead of being in it.

sidetrack.

Wilson helped me solve my fucking problem with excel!

thank you thank you thank you!

i will never take up a data-entry job. ever.

...

i will be jobless on Thursday.

sighs.

Shopping Spree

2011-07-09T23:24:00.005+08:00

in the midst of all the shit i am going through,

i am rather glad i enjoyed my day today with D (:

as the title says, yes, today we went shopping!

well my real purpose was to collect JYJ concert fan project goods which i purchased as soon as i heard news that they were actually coming to Singapore to perform.

but alas, they did not.

the fan project goods were however being produced so yeah, D accompanied me to collect it today.

there were so many people at the Starbucks outlet at Raffles City Shopping Centre.

and a long queue of people getting drinks at Gong Cha.

-_-

the fan goods (:

so we were debating if we should:

1. have our drinks at Starbucks

2. buy our drinks from Gong Cha (D recommended me to try, she says it's is the best out of all that she tried.)

3. getting our drinks from Artease (where the oreo cheese cake ice-cream milk tea is. my recommendation)

we finally decided with 3 because:

1. Starbucks is very crowded and it is the most expensive drink of all our options.

2. The queue at Gong Cha is long and annoying. And we do not get to sit down if we get it there.

And it was the best choice!

though we had to walk a long way through Esplanade to locate the place but it was worth it!

huge space with comfy seats and it wasn't crowded at all!

and they were having 1 for 1 promotion. \m/

so D and i got the large cup of oreo cheese cake ice-cream milk tea for only $5.40 for both!

awesome right?

but we forgot to mention we do not want pearls so the pearls kinda ruin the drink for us.

and D didn't really like it as much as i did.

but i still think it was worth the trip.

less than 3 bucks for a large cup of milk tea. not something you can get all the time.

went to Rubi and cotton on and got great bargains!

this totally pretty casing costs (look below)

yes. fucking $2! (look at how much they were selling at retail price.)

ok so the price tag isn't clear but yeah i paid 2 bucks for that.

and i bought 2 bags which costs 2 bucks each, all proceeds going to Cotton On foundation.

so i am indirectly donating and doing a good cause which makes me feel even more shuang.

you know the shiok feeling you get when you got a great deal or got something really nice and you like it and it is cheap? the feeling is just tops.

went to topshop to check out their new design for their cream tote and i am so glad i bought my cream tote before they introduced their new design.

the new design is totally a face of a wolf. which reminds me of jacob.

so not cool.

so yeah. that's how i spend my Saturday afternoon.

back to all the shit work.

crossing fingers and praying hard i can get through this.

i rejected going out with some of my friends because of this.

i went through a lot of trouble because of this.

FIGHTING!

White.

2011-07-04T09:52:00.001+08:00

I am envious of you White.

For you are a beauty.

Admired and liked by many.

How I wish I can be you.

For only then, will I be pretty to him.

i think i came up with a poem or something.

is that a poem? o.o

Starbucks on a Friday night.

2011-07-03T20:38:00.001+08:00

like a pair of happy friends only.

If You're One In A Million, you're not as special as you think you are.

2011-06-14T09:41:00.003+08:00

Disclaimer: Found this interesting article. This article isn't new (probably published around year 2000) but I believe there are some truth to it. The statistical information and figures are definitely estimated values. I did some editing (mostly on grammar, I did not change any statistical figures.)

Do you know?

Sometimes, size DOES matter.

If you are "One In A Million" in China, there are 1,300 people just like you. And if you are in India, 1,100 people.

The 25% of the population in China with the highest IQ is greater than the total population of North America. In India, it is 28%.

This means that they have more honor kids than Americans having kids.

China will soon become the number one English-speaking country in the world.

If every single job in USA today are taken over by China, there will still be labor surplus.

In the next five minutes:

- 60 babies will be born in USA

- 244 babies will be born in China

- 351 babies will be born in India

The U.S. Department of Labor estimates that learners of today will have 10 to 14 jobs by the age of 38.

According to them, 1 out of 4 workers today works for a company who employed them for less than a year.

And 1 out of 2 are working for companies who employed them for less than 5 years.

According to former U.S. Secretary of Education Richard Riley, the top 10 jobs that are in demand in 2010, didn't exist in 2004.

In present, we are preparing students for jobs that have yet to exist, using technologies that have yet to be invented, in order to solve problems which have yet to manifest.

Name this country:

- Wealthiest in the world

- has the largest military

- World business and finance center

- Best education system

- Renowned for innovation and invention

- Strongest currency value

- Highest standard of living

England, in 1990.

USA is the 20th in the world in broadband Internet penetration.

Nintendo invested more than $140 million in research and development in year 2002 alone.

The U.S. federal government spent less than half of that amount on education.

1 out of every 8 married couple in USA met online.

There are over 106 million registered users on MySpace. (As of September 2006)

If these users were citizens and MySpace was a country, it would be the 11th largest in the world. (Between Japan and Mexico)

On an average, the MySpace page is visited 30 times a day.

We are living in the exponential times.

There are over 2.7 billion searches performed on Google each month.

The number of text messages sent and received everyday exceeds the population of the planet.

There are about 540,000 words in the English Language. That is estimated to be 5 times more than what was known during Shakespeare's times.

More than 3,000 new books are published daily.

It is estimated that a week's worth of New York Times contains more information than a person was likely to come across in a lifetime in the 18th Century.

It is estimated that 1.5 exabyte of unique new information will be generated worldwide.

The amount of new technical information doubles every 2 years.

Therefore, students who are on a 4-year technical collage degree will find that half of what they learnt during their first year of studies will be outdated by the time they are in their third year.

It is predicted to double every 72 hours by 2010.

Third-generation fiber optics has recently been tested by both NEC and Alcatel that pushes 10 trillion bits per second down one strand of fiber.

That is 1,900 CDs or 150 million simultaneous phone calls every second.

It is currently tripling every 6 months and is expected to do so for at least the next 20 years.

The fiber is already in place, they are merely making improvements and the marginal costs for these improvements is effectively $0.

Predictions are that e-paper will be cheaper than real paper.

About 47 million laptops are shipped worldwide a year.

The $100 laptop project is expecting to ship between 50 to 100 million laptops a year to children in less developed countries.

Predictions are that by 2013, a supercomputer will be built which exceeds the computation ability of a human brain.

By 2023, a $1000 worth computer will exceed the computational ability of a human brain.

And while technical predictions further than 15 years are hard to make, predictions are that by 2049, a $1,000 worth computer will exceed the computational capabilities of the human race.

and around and around we go.

2011-06-12T16:32:00.002+08:00

thank you mobile phone subscribers, for screwing me up.

i am done here.

due to unforeseen circumstances, my mobile number will be unavailable until further notice.

080614 dream concert TVXQ - tonight

2011-06-09T11:55:00.000+08:00

Jae's belting is awesome! falsetto not his best but impressive as well! and when the 5 of them are together, THEY ARE INVINCIBLE!

[CLIP] Jisu singing IU's "Good Day"

2011-06-09T10:53:00.000+08:00

Maybe this, will open your eyes.

2011-06-09T10:43:00.002+08:00

http://vigilantcitizen.com/vigilantreport/mind-control-theories-and-techniques-used-by-mass-media/

I shared this link on Facebook and I thought it will be nice if I share it here as well.
An article worth reading.

For those who seek the truth, and also to educate oneself.

This is an excerpt of the article which left a deep impression on me.

The American motion picture is the greatest unconscious carrier of propaganda in the world today. It is a great distributor for ideas and opinions. The motion picture can standardize the ideas and habits of a nation. Because pictures are made to meet market demands, they reflect, emphasize and even exaggerate broad popular tendencies, rather than stimulate new ideas and opinions. The motion picture avails itself only of ideas and facts which are in vogue. As the newspaper seeks to purvey news, it seeks to purvey entertainment.

Lippmann, Bernays and Lasswell have all declared that the public are not fit to decide their own fate, which is the inherent goal of democracy. A democracy, a government ruled by the people, could not sustain itself without a specialized elite shaping and molding public opinion through propaganda. Instead, they called for a cryptocracy, a hidden government, a ruling class in charge of the “bewildered herd. It is increasingly apparent that an ignorant population is not an obstacle that the rulers must deal with: It is something that is DESIRABLE and, indeed, necessary, to insure total leadership. An ignorant population does not know its rights, does not seek a greater understanding of issues and does not question authorities. It simply follows trends.

Popular culture caters to and nurtures ignorance by continually serving up brain-numbing entertainment and spotlighting degenerate celebrities to be idolized.

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be.” - Thomas Jefferson

I am someone who always seek the truth.

I will always want the truth, no matter how awful it is.

And that is the truth.

Most of the time, the truth is always hard, harsh and horrible.

我爱台湾！

2011-06-04T11:48:00.002+08:00

after listening to YT's trip to Taiwan (which was way awesome than mine btw,)

it makes me wanna go there again!

oh how i wish i can like, spend a month over there.

once bitten, twice shy.

2011-05-30T19:36:00.004+08:00

first of all i would like to say what every blogger in their own blog will say:

this is my blog so i have the fucking right to be entitled to my own opinion/comments.

if you are not please with what i wrote, you can always leave any time.

the cross tab is just on your top right corner.

so this isn't the first time some argument happened over the internet just because i voiced out some issues which i think should be said a long time ago.

but as most of us know, direct confrontation can be really nasty so i choose to be passive aggressive.

the first time when a similar situation like this had happen, i found myself fighting my point and my stand on facebook.

after which i told myself never to befriend people who are related to me on the internet.

especially adults because they will definitely impose their authority on me, the younger generation.

with all due respect, even though i was pin pointing some people, i did not reveal/provide their respective names.

ambiguity works like this.

it never reveals the true identity of whoever the author is referring to.

so if you assume i was speaking about you, that is your business, not mine.

but of course, you are entitled to your own assumption as much as i am entitled to my own opinion.

so there.

and i was once again proven right.

there is absolutely no privacy or freedom of speech.

at least in this country.

well, unless i compose in a language nobody can comprehend.

what's the point of keeping the peace when you're the only one sucking everything up?

Solitude, I embrace you.

2011-05-28T22:24:00.002+08:00

when will i truly be free?

free from everything, from everyone.

i wanna answer to no one, but myself.

i don't wish to rely on anybody, but myself.

i wanna do what i want, when i want.

i hate this feeling.

this feeling of being trapped.

this feeling of being ok one moment and the next thing you know, it's all fucked up again.

this bond that we have is nothing but misery.

everyone is so criticizing towards each other.

losing their cool.

making my ugly personality even uglier.

i can't stand it any more.

nothing seems true.

nothing seems to be valued.

every meeting seems like a drag.

the only source of motivation is responsibility.

i truly wanted to help out.

yes, there are benefits.

yes it made me decided to help out.

yes i shouldn't be doing it out of the benefit, it should be all due respect.

but i am willing to do so.

and i am going to do my very best.

to really improve your lives, to make a difference, with what i am good at.

and i only want the benefit after i am sure i have done my part.

so why did you treat my idea as trash?

barely looking at it and literally treat me like some cash whore.

yes i want the cash. for a reason.

and i am willing to fight for that reason.

i want to justify my actions.

i want to reap my rewards for what it is worth.

i did thought about the consequence of my choice.

i thought about the sneers and judgement i will get.

but i did not let that stop me.

because i know this is something both parties will benefit.

i get what i am after and i improve and change your lives.

i spent long nights thinking, should i take the chance or should i just keep on moping.

i decided to take the chance.

i had a plan.

but to you, it was all just an act.

you are not convinced.

but i will not give up.

whether you keep your end of the bargain is your business.

i will be fucking keeping mine.

Jet Lag. (Just Kidding)

2011-05-24T12:58:00.002+08:00

So I had less than 8 hours of sleep these past 2 days.

And I am pretty much shagged.

It's just so tough to fall asleep at night.

I never had this problem.

until recently.

no amount of concealer can hide the dark circles under my eyes.

plus the freaking merciless weather, announcing the late arrival Summer, makes it impossible to hold my make-up, should i be wearing them.

everything just melts away, or they get fried. (skin, brain, hair?)

so my method of keeping myself awake will be,

1. drink green tea like there's no more in the world.

2. have one of your current favorite hits on repeat. (for me it's Simple Plan right now.)

3. imagine myself partying/rocking/dancing in some surreal world.

4. tweet and tumblr frequently. very frequently.

5. check on facebook games.

alright those stated above are actually what i do everyday.

the only way i keep myself awake, apart from slapping myself to stay conscious, is sheer will power.

exaggerating, i know.

sounds cheesy? cliche? i guess so.

you say good morning when it's midnight.

Pastries, Sweets & Everything Nice.

2011-05-24T00:43:00.001+08:00

The amazing art of pastries and sweets never fails to fascinate me.

Beauty in writing.

2011-05-22T17:13:00.008+08:00

i decided to start a tumblr.

because there's so much more i can express by using pictures and quotes by others and sometimes, by writing stuffs i can come up with.

i may be good with words, but not so fantastic to the point that i can truly express myself .

excuse me? my home isn't some visiting centre.

2011-05-21T16:24:00.003+08:00

i am aware that i do not get privacy at all.

i guess i am someone who likes privacy more than most people.

but only recently did it really hit me.

damn, no privacy at all.

not even in my home.

forget about privacy in my room.

that ain't happening.

so, this aunt of mine is visiting my home more frequently than she usually does.

she is one of those meet once a year, during chinese new year kind of relative.

the only valid reason she comes here is to visit her mom, my grandma, who lives with me.

that is not an issue but what really bothers me is that:

fuck, i can't even be myself at home.

why do i have to entertain guests who invite themselves to my home?

and so what if they announced their arrival?

why do my mom have to whip up a meal especially for them?

why do we have to keep pleasing these people?

why are my parents the only ones paying for the maid's expenses?

plus all the time and effort taken to train the maid, it's all imposed on my mom.

i know the reason why she is here.

because she is bored.

yes, fucking bored.

why?

because her 2 daughters, my cousins have their own lives.

her husband, my uncle, is busy with his work.

so she is left alone at home, having nothing to do.

i find it embarrassing to even say this.

she is capable of taking care of her own mother, but she doesn't.

my mother takes care of her mother for her.

she only acts as a guest and visits her mother occasionally.

like everyone else in my dad's family.

they visit their mother only during important family gatherings.

yes, i am extremely unhappy.

i've got nowhere to voice out so i am typing out here.

and i do not mind letting the public know what kind of relatives i have.

Office.

2011-05-18T12:07:00.001+08:00

so, i arrived on time and waited for half and hour before the HR arrived.

and i waited for another half hour before i am assigned to my seat.

and waited 2 hours before the laptop is being set up.

and finally when i settled down, my boss let me off on an early lunch break.

she is pretty by the way, my boss.

it's pretty nice to work in an environment which you are familiar with.

my seat has no privacy though.

bah.

and there's no Starbucks nearby.

Politics.

2011-05-08T16:49:00.005+08:00

to all readers:

if you are uncomfortable with or steering away from such topics or discussions, you can just exit my blog.

if you are open to political discussions, and you have chosen a stand, my post may or may not appeal to you.

because before i start blogging about what i have to say, i am telling you that i am pro-opposition and therefore this post will seem biased to people whose stand differ from mine.

(and no, i do not believe the neutral ground bullshit and that one can be so objective to the point that one can be sitting on the fence. Because one has feelings, one will tend to sway to one side or the other.)

just because my stand is pro-opposition, does not mean that i wish for the PAP to crumple.

what i wish for is an alternative voice, a voice strong enough to question the ruling party, to ensure that they are accountable for all the decisions they made for our nation.

it is my blog, my say.

i ain't targeting any individual (i refer to people of the mass public.) whatsoever, but if you insist on taking it personally, then that really is your problem.

i am blogging simply because i feel like expressing my views.

so now that i have declared, here goes.

My thoughts and feelings with regards to the Singapore General Election 2011.

There is no transparency.

How do we know if these votes are real?

Who can be the judge that nobody plays dirty?

9 days for people to start thinking before they decide who to govern them for 5 years. WTF?!

Those were the thoughts that came to my head while I was watching the television last night.

However, what really angers me are 2 things.

1. The total number of votes cast are always lesser than the total number of voters. Some of the difference goes up to 10,000. WHERE ARE ALL THESE VOTERS?!

2. Spoilt votes. Seriously? You, as a Citizen, are given the chance to execute your right. AND YOUR VOTE BECOMES INVALID?! What were you thinking? What were you doing? Drawing tortoise on your ballot paper? Your invalid vote contributes to very drastic consequences! There are already many odds against the opposition. Even if you are voting for the PAP, the least you can do is to ensure your vote is valid. Otherwise, why bother to head down to the polling station?

People are not taught about the political system in school.

Hell, do they even know what a manifesto is?

Without such knowledge, people rely on what they see and hear.

From the social media, newspapers, friends and families.

All these will heavily influence one's thoughts and decision.

And I assure you, it is not a proper one.

How many voters can truthfully say they cast their votes based on their conclusion after judging from what the PAP and the Opposition party has to offer to them and their constituency?

And I mean after doing reading and research.

Not just based on listening to what candidates have to say at the rally or from people in their social circle.

Excluding all the people who are of age to vote but under circumstances, not allowed to vote, the odds are again,increased against the opposition. (I do not wanna say which group of people, just go figure out the facts yourself. Yes, they are facts.)

Everyone should know, or in the very least, sense, that it is really tough to fight as an opposition.

Yet these courageous people stood up to fight, even though they know chances are slim.

At the very least they are NOT GIVING UP.

I want to be a proud Singaporean.

I want to say "Singapore!" with a smile whenever people ask me where I was born.

I want to say the Pledge and sing the National Anthem with pride when we gather together on Independence Day.

But how can I do so when I do not feel that way?

Instead, I find myself venting my frustrations, telling myself over and over again:

"I will be better off some place else."

"I so wanna get outta here."

So, I will be planning my migrate route during these five years. (I know, rather irrelevant here.)

If we cannot be united to defend our nation, then we shall just be what we were brought up to be: gutless, selfish and self-centred people.

People who think and defend only about themselves and for themselves.

We are saying Yes to a materialistic population devoid of national dignity, a habit of turning a blind eye to social injustice, Yes to a new low.

Believe it or not, it is there, it is happening.

I am not saying I am "a better person", very righteous, strong sense of justice, blah blah.

I often think I am a rather shallow person myself, but the point is, most of time, people will make not the right choices. But the easier choices.

If you watch the Vampire Diaries you should know that the vampires in the show have the ability to "shut away their emotions" so that they need not feel pain, remorse, whatever negative feelings they do not want to feel.

Well, I am telling you. One need not be a vampire to do that.

We can choose to be ignorant, be oblivious, to run away.

However, the truth will still be there.

Are we brave enough to acknowledge it, or are we simply turning to hope, to believe that "things will get better", that "everything is gonna be alright?" (phrases you hear all the time eh?)

Are we willing to give Change a Chance?

Most probably not.

Singaporeans will be squeezed outta their homeland.

Not because I have anything against foreigners (to those who are in a hurry to judge and blame me for what I have stated.)

But because, there are only so many people you can bring in, for a small island like ours.

Ever heard of the phrase: "over capacity?"

And of course, I can go a hell lot on about Miss Kate Spade.

But I am not going to.

Yes, it is easy to be a hater, yes I dislike the way she present herself to the public.

Makes many people doubt her capabilities and as a result a harsh judgement on her.

But that is her problem.

What I am really upset is the fact that she got in unjustly.

Seriously, can anybody prove that statement wrong?

If yes, please show it to me, I am ready to be impressed.

But alas, she will be able to fulfil her "biggest regret" won't she?

This is one quote I chance upon when I was doing my reading.

Something I will be keeping in mind.

I would like to share it here.

As quoted:

Loyalty should be with the Nation, not with the party.

We should always put Nation above the party.

We must never betray the Nation for the party.

We must be prepared instead to go against the party for the good of the Nation.

with that i shall end my long post.

if you are still reading this, kudos to you.

nevertheless, all my thoughts and feelings shall stay within my personal speaking space.

i will not, in any way, attempt to propagandise you. (to my best efforts)

this is solely my stand and my views. and perhaps, for your reading pleasure.

to my dear friends,

if we share common interest, there will always be space for discussion.

if not, there will be other lighter topics which we can talk about. c:

screw you.

2011-05-06T01:23:00.003+08:00

i feel like i am trap inside a bubble.

the difference is the bubble cannot be popped.

it doesn't matter anymore.

i do not care.

and i never want to see you again.

just because you put your heart and mind to it doesn't mean you will gain acceptance.

so fuck it.

don't worry, just because i feel shit doesn't mean i will want to drag you into it.

i won't.

yeah i am passive aggressive.

what a day.

2011-04-29T17:46:00.003+08:00

i didn't have the "i own the interview" feel after walking out.

green tea latte tasted better overseas.

screw up and became way early for appointment.

stuck outside because of the weather.

had an awkward moment.

mc grill tasted so so.

they even state "100% chicken thigh meat" on the side of their packaging box.

so they are implying tat their products from before are not 100% chicken meat?

>.>

went shopping since it was on the way.

got back home.

1 word. boring.

PS: it's been 4 weeks.

no experience = no chance.

2011-04-28T09:12:00.004+08:00

so, i don't have much experience in the admin department.

and base on that fact you chose to reject my application.

and offer me a customer service officer position instead.

what makes you think i will take that offer?

there's a reason why i want to work in the office.

i am fucking sick of customers.

not even an interview.

just a bloody phone call.

how hard is it to be an admin assistant?

it's just doing whatever you are told to do.

...

it would have been the greatest news to me.

fuck it.

***i used to believe that when one falls to the rock bottom, ultimately, one will start to rise.

that's bullshit.

because the fall is endless.

there is no rock bottom, no ground.

you just keep falling.

They have taken over the world.

2011-04-27T19:24:00.002+08:00

I succumb to the masses.

I used to say I detest Starbucks and MacDonalds because they are two, too huge giant corporations that literally took over the world.

You can see them almost everywhere in every city, town, country.

And I always don't get why they gain eternal popularity.

Nobody ever gets tired of them.

They are a constant fad that never goes away.

Even though we know they aren't exactly the healthier choice, in fact they are far from it.

And their pricing aren't reasonable either.

The prices of their products are increasing yet you don't see a decrease in their customers just because of that.

There will never be an outlet I see, empty.

Back to the main point.

I used to prefer coffee bean and I tried to avoid MacDonalds and choose other fastfood brands instead.

Overtime, I began to take back my words and fall into the masses.

Yes, I prefer Starbucks now, and whenever I thought of fast food, MacDonalds came into my mind.

I have been brainwashed.

I bought myself a Starbucks t-shirt.

Recently I am thinking about getting a Starbucks card.

And I think about fillet-o-fish frequently.

oh god.

cotton on

2011-04-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

no, i didn't get it.

so yes, i am holding it against you.

Paperwork.

2011-04-12T22:11:00.002+08:00

fuck paperwork.

fuck administration.

there is no waiting time when it comes to deduction of money.

insurance, giro.

however, there is waiting time when it comes to receiving money.

cheques.

and there is extremely long waiting for news/results.

like seriously.

what the fuck is wrong with them.

new layout! new game!

2011-04-07T16:32:00.002+08:00

new layout!

i find my previous layout rather small and annoying.

now i just need to figure out where to place my picture.

i found a new game!

it's called: "My Shop"

and it's very nice!

so viewers please add the game application to your profile!

even if you are not interested!

additional neighbours won't hurt!

even those sleeping ones!

i had an epic moment yesterday.

it was very dumb of me.

but that habit of mine did save myself from a situation from the past.

i just wish i have another way to identify myself without using my ID.

like my tertiary student card.

which is no longer with me.

U.U

get outta my head.

2011-03-28T21:08:00.003+08:00

i feel so cold.

cold towards human relations and reactions.

these thoughts have been in my head.

what does being a friend mean?

what does being part of a team mean?

what's the reason for catching up with friends, knowing what each other has been up to?

and i know it's a stupid question but why is it so hard to find an appropriate time to meet up with friends?

and when time goes by and you drift apart from them, what does the friendship mean then?

what's the point of meeting new people when you do not form any sort of bond with them?

why do humans crave for social interactions yet at the same time most of the relationships they form are not sustainable?

side note, i am so restless and on the edge.

like a ticking time bomb.

i seriously do not know when i will snap.

i need a therapist.

and it's funny how it's spelled like "The Rapist".

Food for Thought.

2011-03-21T10:46:00.002+08:00

After reading Vonnyl and Lord Voldemort's blog post,

I feel that I should say something as well.

This world is fucked up. Everyone is well aware of it.

Yet it still saddens me to see people trending nonsense like "Rebecca Black" rather than trending important stuffs to help Japan.

It's not over, it's still there.

People are still suffering while you are laughing your ass off behind your computer screen at some 13 year old girl who creates a horrible music video with nonsensical lyrics, auto tune throughout her whole "song" and attempting to portray a "happy face" in which she failed to do so.

They, however, succeeded.

They succeeded in feeding the crowd with what they want.

Not people with real musical talent or gift.

But trash.

They know what it takes to create a big impact.

instant popularity.

one trashy song is all it takes.

people get obsessed with criticising, with hate.

and with this new song, people found a common target to hate.

shouldn't we be channelling all these time and energy for the better good?

imagine how much we could do if all these time spent on "hate" and criticism be spent on encouraging people to donate to Japan, to help them through this phase.

To give them food, shelter, warmth.

but no, people treat the disaster in Japan as a passing event.

Rebecca Black, on the other hand, is still trending.

this shows a lot, says a lot and even question a lot about humanity.

think about it.

what if one unfortunate day,

disaster strike you instead,

take everything away from you,

everything except for your life,

do you start to think then?

do you have the courage to live on?

one thing i know for sure, you will not be laughing at Rebecca Black and her song.

JYJ their room essay & JeJung Intermodulation

2011-03-07T22:22:00.002+08:00

woohoo~

i am happy to find my little parcel sitting on my table waiting for me when i got back from my first day at Juicy Couture.

YES.

my JYJ "Their Rooms Music Essay" and JeJung Intermodulation book has arrived~!

this deserves a celebration!

and a blog post!

and tons of smiles!

D asked me so how happy i am right now.

i told her i am happy but not the kind that will make me jump up and down with euphoria.

i will only be in that state when i am sure i got the vip tickets to JYJ concert in SG.

tsk tsk.

the je jung intermodulation book even gave a bag

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS AND REDUNDANT in my opinion.

because, the only good use is when i bring it to jyj concert.

so i can hao lian to people that i am a hardcore Jae Joong fan (and still hoping future wife-to-be, married to him in my heart and mind.)

and i can show Jae Joong during JYJ concert that I BOUGHT HIS BOOK AND HOPEFULLY HE WILL SIGN ON IT.

and probably that's it. i meant the bag will only fulfil that purpose.

so i was smiling gleefully to myself and was about to rip the parcel apart when my mom came into my room.

apparently she heard "news" that i purchased online, again.

so she witnessed me open up my box of happiness.

and i refuse to show her the contents of the photobook.

it will be for my eyes and my eyes only.

since i had revealed my recent activities (aka my job) i shall elaborate a little in this blog post.

so, i was locked out of the shop when i arrived.

i was shocked and started to worry.

it turns out that the staffs went downstairs for briefing.

i thought: what downstairs? starbucks?

it turns out the corporate group who brought in Juicy Couture carries other brands as well.

so they were in the shop of some other brand having briefing.

today was so-so.

thank goodness people are nice there.

well, i haven't met everyone so...

i am off for my appointment as a free-lance free of charge advisor and my appointment with JYJ.

good night all.

friends or foe?

2011-03-04T19:31:00.001+08:00

is that an interrogation?

oh i dread Monday.

i can do this, i can do this.

party~

2011-03-03T08:03:00.002+08:00

so, YT and I started the day peacefully at KFC.

but the afternoon was crazy.

from one expected meeting to three possible meetings.

i was about to get ready to leave for the meeting at 3.30pm when suddenly i found myself having another meeting at 3pm. (after i made a call)

which is really stupid of me to even agree to meet then.

on my way to the train i received another call from someone who wants to meet me on the day itself as well.

i had to postpone the third meeting to today. 9.30AM.

o.o

well after the meetings YT and I meet up again in an attempt to resuscitate her laptop.

our journey to hp service centre was quite an adventure.

firstly i found myself walking back the same exact same route i did yesterday with Fio after the girls split up at scape.

then, YT and I went back to harbour front station, the exact same place we met yesterday.

plus we cross the overhead bridge 4 times.

and after all the mayhem, we ended up exactly where we were yesterday.

sentosa broadway. but this time, with vodka. C:

feeling a little overwhelmed as this week seems like a mess.

i want to meet all of my friends but i can't set a date because of my situation.

i feel like i am floating around.

Updates!

2011-03-02T12:29:00.004+08:00

finally! i have the time to do this.

ever since i switched to Jalou (due to the fact that my Blackberry was stolen),

i did not have the chance to transfer whatever pictures i have in my phone to my laptop because i do not have the cable.

but, i managed to borrow the cable from some kind soul so now i am showing pictures!

i stayed up late last Thursday night to make these cards!

Farewell cards for my fellow MWL team mates~

am so darn proud of myself after that. hahas.

elephant & hippo~ <3

cute gingerbread man i got for christmas last year!

my 招财猫. her name is "Hi"

Ling and I decorated the counter with pretty pictures when we were bored.

it was taken down by us soon after though.

meeting up with the girls yesterday was fun!

we went to kbox as a group for the first time.

Fio brought her Polaroid!

am looking forward to more upcoming plans with my friends.

finally those who chose the polytechnic path are graduating!

am so happy for them. ^-^

i guess these past few days of meeting up with friends sure boost my emotions.

i am feeling happy~

cheers to life and smiles.

forms forms forms

2011-02-28T15:34:00.002+08:00

forms, forms, forms.

every procedure. every application.

down to every detail.

i have lost count on how many forms i have filled up.

with all my particulars out in the open.

my ic number, my address, my phone number.

it looks like a desperate attempt to publicize myself.

when all i want is just to get the damn procedure done.

so many papers are being used for administrative purposes.

what's the point of putting up numbers on your web page when you are not going to answer?

very efficient, SP administrators.

transferring my calls to so many department and i have to repeat my story every time my line gets transferred.

screw you, people hiding in their cubicles behind their computer screens in the office.

well, i manage to find my way in the end.

i just don't wanna go there alone.

woohoo!

2011-02-27T01:16:00.003+08:00

new layout.

last day ~~tomorrow~~ today.

cheers to new chapter of life.

question: what does it mean when some dude keeps saying "i love you" to you on MSN?

intuitive answer: it means you are a fool and probably a good laugh to him if you take that seriously.

subsequent action: i turn my back and run away.

*update* having no sleep was no fun at all. i regretted not sleeping.

take a pick.

2011-02-24T12:23:00.003+08:00

after a prep talk with D last night.

i had a serious reality check.

so, what i thought was possible turns out to be the opposite.

i have made my choice.

told mom about it on the phone.

she told me, dad and her are happy with my decision.

i almost cracked.

The worst day of my life.

2011-02-23T18:47:00.002+08:00

Yep. the title says it all.

so i do vent and rant on my blog whenever i have a horrible day or time.

today, i chose to let it go and move on.

i looked at my surroundings, people, place.

i shed some tears and wipe them away.

i tell myself today is gonna pass, tomorrow will be another day.

but seriously.

there's only so much that i can take.

even if i am "strong".

i woke up early for the sake of an interview and found myself being pushed around.

from the office to the store.

when i arrived at the office i realised it's the same office i had been to a couple of months ago.

but it was for a different brand.

what the fuck.

so i get it. it is an organisation that carries a few luxury brands under their name.

however, for an organisation that is this inconsistent and screwed up, i am seriously having my doubts and i probably won't accept the job immediately even if they offered it.

I felt like i had to rant it out somehow so I called D.

went to Bras Basah to sell my fiction books.

i was crossing the road at the road junction heading towards National Library when my bag strap snapped.

i was shocked. seriously a bad omen.

i sold 2 old classics and 2 new books.

damn twilight graphic novel and house of night series.

i thought i could at least get 10 bucks for it.

the store owner offered me 5 bucks.

i couldn't believe it.

"me: so how much are they worth?

store owner: 5 bucks.

me: *jaw dropped* seriously? 5 bucks?

store owner: singaporeans prefer paperback, not hard cover. maybe, if you gave me paperback i can give you a higher price.

so ok?

me: yeah whatever.

store owner: *hands over a 5 dollar note and a one dollar coin. quickly changes his mind and switched to a 2 dollar note instead.* alright i will give you 7.

me: took the money and walked away."

unbelievable.

...

took a peaceful bus ride home.

managed to shred the pretty Juicy Couture store card into pieces before i boarded the bus.

got home and started job hunting.

got a call from mom with news which i'd rather not hear.

had to settle a freaking issue which did not produce any results despite attempting to reach a solution via speaking on the phone.

having a headache and feeling more gloomy then ever when another bad news came.

i am forced to give up the shop key by this week.

so technically, not only have i been failing interviews (if you count filling up the same form twice as an interview, that is.), i am being "fired" unofficially for the first time.

basically, i have lost my confidence and will probably freak out on my next interview.

if there is even an interview.

my horoscope says i am due for some good news.

good news indeed.

am heading out to meet D for some caffeine overdose.

this is Evonica signing out.

stay tune for more stories about her fucked up life.

let's get back to our lives and pretend nothing has happened.

2011-02-19T13:01:00.002+08:00

and to think some girls seriously think it was a beauty contest.

it was scary, going solo. seriously.

the process is simple.

to eliminate the bitches and the non vocal ones.

Gosh. What is WRONG with you?!

2011-02-09T15:01:00.004+08:00

my sex god.

yeah.

what is wrong with me?

moping around at home.

cracking my brains, thinking all sorts of ideas and never make any of them work.

can't think of food, can't think of music.

it's like suicidal.

no wonder i am depressed.

i am taking away two of my favourite things in the world out of my life.

food and music.

plus i haven't heard from any of my close friends for some time.

so, Taylor Swift's concert is tonight.

not that it's any of my business.

and e-awards nominees included jyj and homin.

like wtf.

i seriously doubt they are capable of bringing them over to singapore.

goodbye Juicy Couture, for now.

cause you are sucking my blood dry.

and making my life more miserable than it already is.

soon i will be carving my mouth to make a permanent fake smile on my face.

like what joker did.

i can't fuck the tears away.

i can't switch off my emotions.

i can only cry till my tears gone dry.

i don't think i have to do this but, do read my posts with a pinch of salt.

like duh.

talk is cheap.

that's why everyone, including me, can afford it.

:c

2011-01-29T23:13:00.002+08:00

happy times we had.

where are you my friend?

i want to say, i miss you, dear friend.

we are not what we used to be.

we are not what i used to believe in.

what i hold onto, what keeps me going.

i have nothing to fall back on.

Happy Birthday Jae Joong hubby!

2011-01-26T11:44:00.002+08:00

it's 26th January, Kim Jae Joong's official birthday.

technically it's 4th February.

Oh wells.

Kim Jae Joong:

Happy Birthday to you!

生日快乐!

お誕生日おめでとう!

생일 축하 합니다!

just checked my chatbox.

it's full of rubbish.

my blog has information?

i made fair points in my post?

wtf. irrelevant.

and the most atrocious thing i found out.

the suckers who sucked up to my blog left a link on their names which i refuse to click, it's probably virus or those many click/spam/ad/click and earn money scheme etc.

like hello. nobody reads this space anymore.

i don't even read it. once in a blue moon yes.

side track. i love IKEA! :D

what does it take.

2011-01-04T22:56:00.002+08:00

which is worse:

the absence of love;

or the presence of pity.

what does it take to get you?

Curses.

2010-12-30T01:05:00.002+08:00

bad omen.
dark clouds are looming in my head.

a blackberry bold handset cost $600+

tsk.

i think i have the solution for my mobile.

am rather inspired after a trip to Ikea.

and YT agreed to go to the zoo with me!

for my sake!

she doesn't like animals but she agreed to go with me!

am so happy and grateful.

^-^

now, there's just Friday to think about.

will most probably end up at home.

make it happen.

2010-12-22T17:27:00.003+08:00

i am stuck, yet again.
what should i do.

-update-
i made my decision.
questioning my moral and integrity makes me more certain about you.
we do not have mutual trust or understanding.
even though we live under the same roof.
and may i add on that you do not know how it feels like to be alone, to be without support.
because you are never alone and you always have support.

要把斗志找回来。

2010-12-15T13:36:00.004+08:00

毎日、毎日、忙しい! 悲しい。。。

做到老，做到死。

i feel like i am stuck in this rat maze where i will continue slaving until my body can no longer take it and i die.

what sort of life is this?!

side-track.

Happy Birthday Xiah Junsu~

たんじょびは、おめでと！

^-^

egyptian/china doll.

2010-12-11T00:24:00.002+08:00

hello bangs. hello flat hair.

i am making friends with beanies now.

NEX was so-so.

bus trip back was awesome.

YT and I are sick together.

she passed me her virus, and i haven't been sleeping well.

同病相连！

hahaha!

i've given you your way. what more do you want from me?

in your eyes, i will never be good enough.

i am happy!

2010-12-10T00:01:00.002+08:00

i am happy today!

woke up in a good mood and am happy for the rest of the day today!

if my days can be spent feeling like this i will be the happiest person on earth. C:

so today after 4pm i went to grab a huge meal: http://twitpic.com/3edcl0

before i get started on my retail therapy.

the moment i step in, the very few people there started staring.

and i know the reason why.

you don't step into a eating place alone. it's just weird.

and when i took my order the waiter's expression was priceless.

he could not believe that i am able to savour them all.

and he kept checking on me to see if i have gone insane or something.

it was totally hilarious but i can't laugh out loud.

if i do they will think i have cracked.

so, feeling very stuffed, i went on with my retail therapy.

was stopped by some surveyors who thought i am 21 and when i said i am not they look seriously surprised.

ok, i have unnatural looking hair, i get it.

i, too, suck at guessing people's age based on their looks.

the trip to get all the stuffs back home before i head for lessons was excruciating.

the shopping bag i brought was stuffed and totally heavy.

i kept thinking "thank goodness i got myself prepared with that meal." while i was dragging myself back home.

spent the time in school playing my friend's iphone.

efficient huh.

so. i have been thinking real hard about what to get for each and every one of you my dear friends out there, for Christmas! :D

i am so excited about Christmas this year.

i wonder if it's due to the constant Christmas carols playing?

i tell you, they are seriously addictive.

so anyhow, please look forward to it~

i can't wait to see the smiles on all of your faces when i present them to you. ^-^

i am loving my 4 days break from official work.

it makes me feel that the 3 constant work days are worth it.

and with D around for 3 weeks, it just adds more cream on my cake!

hahaha!

FML

2010-12-04T02:26:00.001+08:00

i don't give a fuck anymore.

suck it in.

2010-11-27T19:05:00.003+08:00

unlike some people who channel their frustration to the unfortunate victim who happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time,

i have what people call a blog where i rant out.

and also pouring out to D (ily! :D)

raising your voice at me in front of everyone.

i have to had it to you.

even my mom hasn't done that since i was no longer a kid.

call yourself an adult? with kids?

and mind if i add that your status happened to be the same as mine?

whatever happened to professionalism?

and chumming up to those of higher status than you.

you need to be more creative than that.

screwing up my lifestyle.

not eating well.

not sleeping well.

in fact, i am so zoned out to the point where i have lost myself.

thanks to this job.

i can say a lot more.

perhaps next time, on a lighter note.

there's violence in the family.

there's nowhere where i can stop the pretence.

where i can be myself.

not even in my bedroom.

i may be sleeping in the streets soon.

in distress.

2010-11-22T23:42:00.002+08:00

"whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"

it hasn't been proven. at least for me.

i am not dead. not yet.

but i am not stronger.

in turmoil. in agony.

having a tough time.

D and N are having a rough time as well.

it frustrates me further because i can't ease their pain. much as i want to.

neither can i heal mine.

then there are all my other dear friends who are upset over their problems as well.

it just makes me feel worse.

yes, it affects me.

whenever someone whom i care about is upset, it affects me.

my string of thoughts has snapped.

talking isn't gonna solve the problem.

knew long ago i can't lean on you and know that "everything will be okay"

yet i hoped.

and yes, it was a waste of time.

hope: a situation whereby you want something to happen. but you have no power or control to ensure that it happens. so you did the only thing you could.

pushing myself forward.

2010-11-11T12:09:00.001+08:00

People do their best work when they are doing what they want, love and is natural for them, not when you are forcing them to be something that they are not.

- Avril Lavigne

regardless, i am still pushing myself forward. to get through this fateful year.

if i can get through this week that is.

2PM. friendship.

2010-11-06T15:34:00.004+08:00

oh yeah.

i woke up at 2PM today.

for the first time ever i guess.

so my first half of Saturday was wasted.

i love late night meetup with friends. heart it.

over coffee or vodka. preferably couches too.

i learnt Monopoly Deal and it's so fun!

so i discover great news which almost made me puke up my breakfast,

humiliating moment and cursing myself for "seeing the good" in people by treating everyone as potential friends even though it's pretty obvious some of them have ulterior motives.

which makes me think of my real friends.

the ones who know me for a long time.

the ones who i met somehow when i was growing up.

the ones who see me through good and bad times.

the ones who witness my tears.

the ones who i do not communicate with most of the time.

the ones who i catch up with once in a while.

the ones who i meet up with all the time.

the ones who know my flaws but still acknowledge me, one way or another.

i am nothing without them.

though at times we may disagree and give each other the cold shoulder.

or bitching around behind each other's backs.

at the end of they day, i believe behind all the smiles, tears, sarcasm, arguments, cold wars,

lies true friendship.

which i cherish, very much.

so thanks you my friends, for your friendship.

a dedication to all of you, on the spur of a moment.

i only write a lot when i am emotional.

this is one of those times.

so to those potential friends who have just lost their potential:

screw you. for you are worse than an acquaintance.

the difference between concern and annoy.

2010-11-03T12:01:00.002+08:00

this is a ranting post.

life has been awfully stressful these few weeks.

eating nothing but microwave food finally screwed up my health.

so an unfortunate incident happened.

something i wish it didn't but it did.

so i was working last Saturday, and i was fine in the earlier half of the day.

but during the evening i was running a fever.

i knew i had to go home to rest but it was a couple of hours before i end work so i thought i could hold out for a while.

so i kept quiet.

and i only realised on that day, you can tell if people are having a cold with all the sneezing and coughing. but you can't tell if a person is having a fever.

i look totally fine on the outside but i was so horrible on the inside.

my hands were so cold and numb, i couldn't feel a thing when i took out the food from the microwave.

and although i just took out the food from the microwave which is hot, i ate it without feeling any taste or realising how hot it actually is.

3 hours before i end work, i reached my limits.

so i had to leave early, causing a lot of inconvenience.

crashed as soon as i got home and sort myself out.

Sunday was my rest day, so thank goodness for that.

but i did not get well completely.

i was still on the edge of fever, my throat isn't well at all.

i was suppose to work on Monday.

Mom and Dad had a debate about whether i should go to work.

Mom insist on me going to work, saying since i am out of fever, i should go.

she feared that i would get fired (her extreme point of view. she loves to exaggerate. got that from grandma.) because i left early from my work on Saturday (hello, fucking having a fever. what do you expect me to do? wait until i faint before you take action?) and taking MC when i am still on probation isn't gonna create a good impression.

Dad's side was of course opposition. he said since i am truly unwell, and the doctor gave me my MC to let me rest at home, i should follow the doctor's instructions. the doctor was generous for giving me 2 days. Monday and Tuesday.

i got pissed when i heard Mom's stand.

so for the sake of good impression, you throw away your health.

and you know what she says?

she said. well, you can't take MC now because you're on probation. wait till you're confirmed before you take MC.

like wtf.

if i can manipulate my time of sickness,

then i might as well make sure i don't get sick at all.

if i have that sort of ability.

sometimes, she can be so...dense.

anyway, i decided to rest on Monday, but there's an important briefing on that day.

so i attended the briefing, submitted my MC, and went home to sleep.

technically, i was suppose to be on MC on Tuesday as well.

but i was all better so i went to work.

i did not violate any contract terms.

i was entitled to medical leave. even during probation.

so that was what happened.

sidetrack.

i am mostly crabby in the morning.

cause i need time to clear my head, to know what day it is today, what is there to do blah blah.

and once i get a hold of things i will be approachable.

my mom on the other hand, does things her way and assume she is always right.

the thing about virgo that seriously gets on my nerves.

just because they are perfectionist and have high expectations of themselves, they implement that expectation on others as well.

they are highly capable but that also cause them to be clouded with the delusion that they are always right.

they are inflexible because in their minds, the only idea that will work, is theirs.

so my mom diligently arrives at work way early everyday,

does her work and also calls me frequently. and i mean, frequently.

i understand that a few phone calls a day is acceptable.

to let her know that i am on my way to school, work, i have eaten, blah blah.

but i can totally imagine her sitting at her desk, calling me, my dad, and making the same small talk everyday.

sometimes, it just annoys the shit outta me.

picture this.

a girl with a smile on her face. pleasant mood.

phone call came, smile still on her face.

a while later, phone call came again. smile starts to fade from her face.

some time later, phone call comes again, poker face.

phone comes again, reluctant to pick up, but eventually did. frown appears.

phone comes for the Nth time, annoyed, give short replies.

phone still continues to ring, too irritated to pick up. mood is totally ruined.

kinda like a comic strip of how i feel about constant phone calls.

i am not a chatty person, so i can never get the pleasure of chatting long hours on the phone.

so because of my sick incident, my mom who habitually calls me frequently,

kept asking me the same thing every time she calls.

"so, your boss didn't say anything?"

seriously, it's like. testing my tolerance.

seeing when i will snap.

trying to irritate the shit outta me or trying to get an answer out of a senseless question.

what do you want her to say?

"oh, you are the type who takes MCs all the time to slack at home."

"i am not happy with your performance during your probation period (because you took MC and did not create a good impression) therefore, you are fired."

is that what you wish to hear?

the fact that she constantly asks me this, makes me can't help but feel that she is actually HOPING my boss will be upset with me just because I AM FUCKING SICK AND HAD TO LEAVE WORK EARLY ON AN EXPECTED NOTICE AND TOOK A DAY OFF TO REST AT HOME.

and besides.

i am just a regular staff.

not some important figure in the company.

because i am not that significant, in the eyes of the company,

my boss is gonna say nothing.

i did not violate any rules anyway. so there's nothing to say.

THE END.

the reason i am always in a constant struggle.

not able to breakthrough.

not able to "grow up".

feel much better after typing them down.

it's just too good to be true.

2010-10-31T14:09:00.002+08:00

a month ago i was all happy and hyped up.
thinking my life has finally turn around.
some things are just too good to be true.

am going to rest now.
i have a battle to fight this week.

picture spam!

2010-10-26T12:38:00.003+08:00

<3>

love their smile.

a peek at his tattoo.

aigoo~

i can't tell if that is bones, muscles, or what.

at Malaysia showcase.

prep talk.

2010-10-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

when others are taking you for granted and make life difficult for you, you step up and show them what you've got.

yeah.

and you show them how much more capable you are.

because the only reason why they did what they did is that you've got what it takes.

you've got strength.

and strength ignites threat.

which leads to fear.

i am a pessimist.

which means i deal with more negativity than a regular person all the time.

being negative towards me will not give you the desired outcome you are hoping for.

instead, it pushes me, made me challenge myself and most of the time, things will turn out positive for me.

negative x negative = positive

simple mathematical rule.

there are too much negativity in this world.

and there are always people who will be trying to put you down.

people who enjoys seeing you fall.

you can't deal with every single one of them.

neither should you waste your time keeping them entertained.

---

i made my 2nd scrap page today!

attended my 2nd workshop and it was fun~!

shall post pictures soon.

dang i hate my toy phone.

BB~ U.U

Jae Joong ah~

2010-10-22T11:26:00.002+08:00

i dreamt of Jae Joong last night.

and his white Bentley.

and what's more ridiculous is,

i dreamt of D getting out of the car.

I KNOW.

i think it's doing my head in.

i need to empty my head of all the nonsense.

it's Si Ling's birthday today.

haze these days are making me cough.

it's raining pretty hard right now.

the morning thunder was LOUD i tell you.

YooChun has a twitter!

and he finally tweeted in English before he sleeps.

Let's Sweets~

2010-10-20T07:56:00.002+08:00

Dessert buffet with Moma, Stella-la & Vonnyl~

4 plates worth of desserts went down my stomach!

oozing with sweetness. lols!

i've got COTTON ON gift voucher from the 3 wonderful people! ^-^

now that i recalled, i realise my response wasn't as enthusiastic. .-.

GOU ME NA SAI!

Happy Birthday.

2010-10-14T10:06:00.003+08:00

special thanks to these girls:

Chen Jing Jing

Phyllis Tay

Tan Si Ling

Tan Yi Tong

Yvonne Lee

for their time, company, gifts and cakes.

thank you girls so much for granting my wish.

^-^

Chen Yan Tong

for making my birthday more meaningful on the day itself.

^-^

and...

thank you all my friends and everyone else for the birthday wishes!

i love you all!

x.o.x.o

PS: at cloud 9 right now after some vodka, 2 huge cups of coffee, macdonalds, and staying up all night.

you spin my head right round right round~

PPS: had an awesome day. reality check!

well, don't.

2010-10-12T14:59:00.002+08:00

Have you ever really thought about it?

You've got this girl, head over heels in love with you.

She'd do anything for you.

But for some reason, you don't want to see that.

You know it's there, but you just wont accept it so you try to make her go away.

-- maybe this girl is perfect for you.

And that really scares the hell outta you, doesn't it?

運命なら僕たちは巡り逢えるよね？

Parfait & Retail Therapy!

2010-10-09T22:50:00.002+08:00

met vonnyl today!

it's been quite a while.

she treated me parfait today!

arigatou gozaimasu! ^-^

went to JP to check out the outlet.

and did some shopping before heading town.

initial plan was to go ethereal gig.

but. the location is...difficult to access so i decided to drop it.

looked at each other's mp3 on the train.

girl has a neat collection of songs man!

went to scape for the first time.

that place is awesome~

check out 987 studio.

it's seriously surrounded by glass wall and we can see the deejay at work.

one handsome dude whom i don't know the name was the deejay.

lols.

lots of skater dudes were practising their stuns at the huge court on the ground floor.

you can hear the constant flipping of the skateboard.

and the occasion cheer.

managed to get some stuffs i want.

haven't been shopping for real for a long time...

i am a serious computer addict.

internet addict.

and that means i have been shopping online.

note to self:

return way overdue library books.

fines are accumulating like fuck.

aint gonna pay them nor borrow any books for the time being.

.-.

cheers!

2010-10-07T21:54:00.002+08:00

cheers!

i've got girlfriends who are willing to celebrate with me on the last night of my 18 years old!

XOXO

stumbled upon a random tumblr blog.

read through some of the pictures encoded with messages.

one of which caught my eye.

"i'm not the type of girl guys fall in love with."

really emotional.

well, it's hard to say.

matters of the heart.

it's not straightforward like 1 + 1.

but i do see this often:

"Do not find love. Love finds you. That's why it's called falling. "

well, I say:

Love is what makes this insane world, sane.

of course i don't just mean the love between 2 people.

there are many forms of love out there in this world.

alright i am getting back to doing my notes.

i want my beauty sleep.

long day tomorrow as well.

i am happy to say: i love my life. for now. :3

hectic!

2010-10-05T19:56:00.000+08:00

i am introduced to a new world.

a world of craft.

scrapbook to be exact.

am gonna do intensive studying for the sake of my work.

i like my new job so far.

i will make sure i will like it for a long time.

i feel like i have been missing out on school. a lot.

i am screwed on the assignment.

project work seems to be dead.

i so don't wanna fuck up my studies!

urgh.

i have finally started to learn korean!

online.

yeah.

am trying hard to recognize the characters at one glance.

will take some time and tons of practice.

product knowledge, studies, korean language and japanese language.

i will conquer you all!

zettai. matasette! >:D

i have great plans, and they seem to be falling on great times.

the only problem is: i don't have the people.

Event A

13th Oct Wednesday: last clubbing day while i am 18.

Venue: St James

RSVP anyone?

>.>

Event B

Count Down 2011

i don't wanna reveal details.

but i thought of a fun way to celebrate.

then again, i couldn't find anybody.

or rather. i didn't know who to ask.

it sucks when you actually know a lot of people but you aint exactly friends with them so you don't hang out with them so when you wanna find someone to party with you can't.

sighs.

still can't believe i am gonna see the love of my life.

the best birthday present i can ever ask for.

XOXO

one out of sixty.

2010-10-04T21:03:00.002+08:00

i managed to get the vip ticket.

i kept looking at the confirmation email again and again.

and i don't dare to close my hotmail fearing the email will not be there the next time i see it.

although, i am not completely thrilled by this piece of good news which i am eternally thankful for.

because Ameerah couldn't get her vip ticket.

and i tried my best to help her.

their fucking sever crashed.

she was so upset.

i was so upset because i couldn't help her get it.

she managed to get Cat A.

it's been 2 hours and Cat A hasn't been sold out.

expected. everyone was eyeing the vip.

but who wouldn't right.

today was a long day.

training was good but intensive.

i love the place so far.

i just need time to absorb all the overloaded information transmitted to me today.

just came back home after walking to and fro from D's bus stop.

it was 4 to 5 bus stop.

good exercise.

wish do come true i guess...

2010-10-02T11:12:00.002+08:00

JYJ are coming to Singapore.

yes.

Jae Joong, Yoo Chun, and Junsu are coming to Singapore.

VIP tickets: SGD248

however, there are only 100 tickets available.

60 for Singaporeans, 40 for international fans.

Pre-order limits to a single ticket per person.

Cap tickets: SGD168

i obviously want the VIP tickets.

but what the fuck.

only 60 tickets out of (gosh i can't imagine how many) people.

i remember the last time Junsu came to support Junho for his showcase.

the airport scene.

...

4th of Oct.

i have work on that day.

this is the second time work has interfered with my plans to meet them.

URGH.

Cafe Cartel

2010-09-30T01:19:00.001+08:00

long day today.

funeral in the day and meeting YT in the evening. (like finally!)

so much catching up to do.

so much so that we ended up having late dinner at Cafe Cartel (it's been so long since i went there)

and had a long chat.

awesome!

Great Grand Mother

2010-09-25T12:41:00.002+08:00

my great grandmother passed away this morning.

i am ever so fond of her.

she remembers me even though we hardly see each other,

and she knows who i am among all the numerous grand children and great grand children.

i am proud of her.

great grandma, i miss you.

and i am truly sorry, i don't get to see you for the last time.

you will always be in my heart.

this is what happens when you are hopeful.

2010-09-22T17:10:00.004+08:00

psh.

what a wreck i am.

busy with projects these days.

i even had to bring my laptop to work. literally. at the shop.

i am almost done. just 1 more section to go.

but as i am blogging right now, it just shows how distracted i am.

i was excited about the nescafe movie marathon.

however, JYJ fan meet is around the same time as that event.

so i have to say bye bye to my 10K. D:

and i have to spend a bomb to see my love.

the cherry on top of the cake definitely goes to me getting the flu.

it's such a wonderful weather to be snuggling in my bed today.

i am starting to hate my job.

hate my boss.

hate the environment.

hate the fucking miserable pay.

hate the penalty that is way beyond reason.

hate their fucked up attitude.

hate the fact that i can't do anything to get back at them.

besides being busy with projects, i have been searching jobs frantically.

like seriously.

i read the classified, job street and jobcentral.

i went for interviews whenever i can.

so far i didn't get any good news.

where is the justice for me.

i know life can be unfair.

but sometimes i can't help but think this is too much.

urgh too personal i shall stop.

i have to stop feeling sorry for myself.

should i just cut off my resources.

i think i really do stand a chance for most of the interviews i went.

i feel that i made a pretty good impression and i am confident that i can own it.

but i sense their hesitation.

and the common reason for their hesitation is that i have another job currently.

so i was thinking. should i?

fuck.

at times when i have crazy thoughts like now, i secretly think maybe being a hostess isn't so bad after all.

judging from the amount of money one can earn.

ANYWAY.

just a random thought. will never consider that.

i should get back to my project.

so cold. i think i need mittens. to keep my hands warm.

i think i need a mate.

i think i met enough nasty people. can i meet some kind soul now?

yes, i was hopeful.

~~and look how hope disappoint me again.~~

~~just like how it does so every time i begin to have a little faith.~~

東方神起の涙

2010-09-15T11:30:00.002+08:00

finally! i've Found You!

Found You (찾았다)

Korean lyrics

솔직히 처음엔 몰랐어 우연한 만남이었지만
이제껏 난 기쁨보단 아픔을 더 많이 배웠어

눈물이 많았던 나지만 너에겐 웃음만 줄꺼야
이제서야 내 반쪽을 찾았나봐
이렇게 가슴이 뛰고있잖아

찾았다 내사랑 내가 찾던 사람
뜨겁게 안아주고싶어
가만히 눈을 감아줄래
내가 입맞춰 줄수있게

사랑해 널 사랑해

찾았다
내 곁에 둘 한 사람

마음을 닫았던 나지만 너에겐 내마음 줄꺼야
이제서야 내 반쪽을 찾았나봐
이렇게 가슴이 뛰고있잖아

찾았다 내사랑, 내가 찾던 사람
뜨겁게 안아주고싶어
가만히 눈을 감아줄래
내가 입맞춰 줄수있게

사랑해 널 사랑해

찾았다
내 곁에 둘 한 사람

닫혔던 내마음 아픈 상처 다 안아준사람
더많이 사랑해주고 싶어 언제까지나

찾았다 내 사랑 내가 찾던 사람
뜨겁게 안아주고싶어
가만히 눈을 감아줄래
내가 입맞춰 줄수있게

가만히 눈을 감아줄래
내가 입맞춰 줄수있게
사랑해 널 사랑해

찾았다
내 곁에 둘 한 사람

고맙다
내곁에 와주서

English Translations

Honestly, at first I didn't know, though it was an accidental encounter
Till now, I've learned more about sorrow than happiness

Though I was full of tears, I will bring you only laughter
I must have finally found my other half
My heart is racing like this

Found you my love, The person I've been searching for
I want to share a heated embrace with you
Stay still and close your eyes
So I can kiss you on the lips

I love you, it's you who I love

Found you
The one person I'll keep by my side

Though I had kept my heart closed, I'll give my heart to you
I must have finally found my other half
My heart is racing like this

Found you my love, The person I've been searching for
I want to share a heated embrace with you
Stay still and close your eyes
So I can kiss you on the lips

I love you, it's you who I love

Found you
The one person I'll keep by my side

The person who embraced all the painful wounds on my closed heart
I want to love you more and more, for eternity

Found you my love, The person I've been searching for
I want to share a heated embrace with you
Stay still and close your eyes
So I can kiss you on the lips

Stay still and close your eyes
So I can kiss you on the lips

I love you, it's you who I love

Found you
The one person I'll keep by my side

Thank you
For coming to my side

Romanization

Soljikhi cheoeumen mollatseo ooyeonhan mannamiyeotjiman
Ijaeggeot nan gippeumbodan apeumeul duh manhi baewutseo

Noonmoori manatdun najiman nuh-aegaen ootseumman joolggeoya
Ijaeseoya nae banjjokeul chajatnabwa
Ireokae gaseumi ddwigo-itjana

Chajatda naesarang naega chatdun saram
Ddeugupgae anajoogoshipuh
Gamanhi nooneul gamajoollae
Naega ibmatchweo joolsoo-itgae

Saranghae nul saranghae

Chajatda
Nae gyutae dool han saram

Ma-eumeul dadatdun najiman nuh-aegaen naema-eum joolggeoya
Ijaeseoya nae banjjokeul chajatnabwa
Ireokae gaseumi ddwigo-itjana

Chajatda naesarang naega chatdun saram
Ddeugupgae anajoogoshipuh
Gamanhi nooneul gamajoollae
Naega ibmatchweo joolsoo-itgae

Saranghae nul saranghae

Chajatda
Nae gyutae dool han saram

Dadchyeotdun naema-eum apeun sangchuh da anajoon saram
Duh manhi saranghaejoogo shipeo unjaekkajina

Chajatda naesarang naega chatdun saram
Ddeugupgae anajoogoshipuh
Gamanhi nooneul gamajoollae
Naega ibmatchweo joolsoo-itgae

Gamanhi nooneul gamajoollae
Naega ibmatchweo joolsoo-itgae
Saranghae nul saranghae

Chajatda
Nae gyutae dool han saram

Gomapda
Naegyutae wajoseo

Source: [Naver Blog]
Translation credits: jeeelim5@tohosomnia.net
Shared by: tohosomnia.net

and...another OST by my Jae Joong~

Partial Lyrics for 'To you it's separation, For me it's waiting (너에겐 이별 나에겐 기다림)'

Korean lyrics

너의 빈자리를 빼면 모든 건 제자리에 있는데
가슴이 고장났는지 너를 보낸 걸 실감못해
나의 모든 사랑은 헛된 얘기
나 이렇게 너를 보내 하지만 나에겐 기다림은 시작인걸
떠나가지마 내 사랑아 두 번 다시 널 볼 순 없잖아
내 맘속에 남아있는 그대

떠나가지마 내 사랑아 두 번 다시 널 볼 순 없잖아
어디서든 언제라도 힘들고 지칠 땐 내게로 돌아와 제발
행복해야 해 내 사랑아 그 날까지 영원할 때까지
그대만은 나를 잊고 아낌없이 지우고..

English Translations

Other than the empty spot that is yours, Everything else is in its place
My heart must be broken because it can't comprehend that I've let you go
All my love is now in vain
I'm letting you go like this but to me, this is the beginning of a wait
Don't leave, my love, I won't be able to see you ever again
You are still in my heart

Don't leave, my love, I won't be able to see you ever again
At any place or time, whenever you are tired and worn out, please return to me
You have to be happy, my love, until that day, until we become eternal
If you forget me and erase me without a trace...

Romanization

Neo-ui binjarireul bbaemyun mohdeun gun jaejariae itneundae
Gaseumi gojangnatneunji nuhreul bonaen gull shilgammothae
Na-ui modeun sarangeun hutdwen yeagi
Na irutkae neoreul bonae hajiman na-aegaen gidarimeun shijakingull
Ddeonagajima nae sarangah doo bun dashi neol bol soon upjana
Nae mamsokae namaitneun geudae

Ddeonagajima nae sarangah doo bun dashi neol bol soon upjana
Uhdiseodeun unjaerado himdeulgo jichil dden naegaero dorawa jaebal
Haengbokhaeya hae nae sarangah geu nalggaji youngwonhal ddaeggaji
Geudamaneun nareul itgo aggimupshi jiwoogo

-Lyrics are subject to change when the entire song is released-

Source: [DNBN]
Translation credits: jeeelim5@tohosomnia.net
Shared by: tohosomnia.net

just wanna share the love.
yes, i love them.
yes, i wanna see all FIVE of them
together
on the stage, smiling, again.
yes, i will always be keeping the faith.
it's probably the only faith i have.

Kim Jae Joong, Saranghae~

2010-09-10T10:08:00.002+08:00

Life's good atm.

Been busy with school and working for $$$.

Been on the hunt for jobs as well.

I like being busy.

Cause that means that I have tons to do and that gives me a satisfaction.

and the feeling after i completed those tasks is awesome ttm.

I've been excited these days as well.

No particular reason though.

Lots of new shops have been spotted at Tampines.

1 of the reasons why i love my neighbourhood.

read some news when i woke up and spotted these:

it was Yoochun's 24th birthday~

and look at the gorgeous cake!

JYJ thanks giving live @ Tokyo Dome logo!

JUNSU ate 1 chunk of the cake. LOL.

the boys. awh i love them so much. <3

especially the one on the extreme right. ^-^

pictures source: tohosomia

---

there's a new korean drama coming up: Athena - Godness of War.

i don't really follow dramas. i watch them at my own pace.

BUT.

they revealed that BoA and Siwon (from SUJU) will be in it.

So...i am a fan of BoA. not hardcore but somewhat.

so yeah gotta watch. PLUS. it's action.

oh. i love action.

---

JaeJoong stars in a PV of Ayumi Hamazaki's new single blossom.

i watched the preview and i am envious/jealous of that girl.

*_*

---

i've watched D.NA debut song? i guess it's their debut song.

i didn't notice the title of the song but.

it's very similar to DBSK debut song "HUG".

the ending even has the same action. though they added some extra moves after that.

the same chords. but it didn't ended there, probably to avoid plagiarism.

and looking at the genre of their song, their concept is the same as DBSK. around the time when DBSK debuted.

they focus more on ballad but at the same time, they showed that they can sing, dance, and even acapella.

plus, i found an article saying they look up to DBSK.

zzz.

well i don't like the group.

because they did plagiarise.

even if it's just a small segment of a few seconds.

they did. period.

and there were a few pretty boys there.

there's 1 member who has particularly long hair. longer than the rest of the members.

i assume that's the "jae joong" in the group.

based on what i see on the MV, his expression tells me that he thinks he's the most gorgeous in the group.

hell, Jae Joong is out of their league.

he isn't just a pretty boy anymore. he is a MAN now. HAHAHA.

and the name D.NA wth does it mean anw?

so anyway, it's just my personal opinion, even though some facts were included.

it's a rather subjective statement.

conclusion:

i don't like them.

they lack originality.

being influenced by who you look up to doesn't excuse you from plagiarizing.

apart from the super long hair boy, the rest reminds me of ChangMin when he debuted.

as a hardcore DBSK fan, i have to say: they are not gonna make it. and PS: Jae Joong is way hotter than you. long hair creature.

---

i went to the library recently to borrow a book for my project.

i can't remember the last time i went to the library to borrow a book.

i do read, but i prefer buying books than borrowing it.

i like the feeling of owning what i like to read. :3

so i was dreading to go there because:

i borrowed some book a long time ago and it's still lying on my book shelf and i have no intention to return it any time soon. cause i am not done with it.

so naturally, when i went to the station to have the book on loan, they told me i have outstanding fines. so i had to pay the fines before i can borrow.

>.>

the fine was $38.

i could buy 2 pairs of shorts from cotton on and still have some money left to eat.

with that money.

i paid for the damn fine cause i had to borrow a book for my damn project.

sighs.

so anyway the overdue book that cost me $38 is still lying on my book shelf.

tsk.

---

there's so many places i wanna go.

so many things i wanna do.

it gets me hyped as i think and plan about what i wanna do next yr.

it's gonna be fun!

i feel like i haven't talk to my friends for ages.

so to all my dear friends out there.

TALK TO ME.

^-^

Mug mug MUG!

2010-09-06T10:45:00.002+08:00

it's the exams period for almost everyone.

everyone is mugging and struggling? and doing their best.

so to all my dear friends out there: I AM CHEERING ALL OF YOU ON! AND FORGET LUCK CAUSE YOU GIRLS/GUYS ROCK!!!

yeah.

so it was pay day yesterday and even though i kinda expected the situation,

i still can't help feeling disappointed.

the whole employer-employee situation is getting out of hand.

and very, VERY, depressing.

there were several times when i tried to manipulate myself to keep myself motivated.

to "hang on" like what most would say.

i guess i am at my limits.

how long has it been?

about 8 months and going to 9 i guess.

it's not like they can't survive without me.

like they would jeopardise their business that way by putting all eggs in one basket.

there are obviously many factors in making me keep my job.

apparently these factors have been exhausted.

Ethereal

2010-09-04T14:45:00.003+08:00

it's tomorrow.

another performance by them, which i'd waited for so long.

and I. CAN'T. GO.

fuck.

it's like a battlefield every time i am there.

Teenage dream

2010-08-29T23:26:00.002+08:00

it's about 30 minutes before this day is officially over.

i am happy today.

throughout the day.

i am happy.

no particular reason though.

but i am glad.

cause i'd never felt like this for a long time.

mom and dad got me an advance birthday present.

it's a cellphone.

cheers.

tata 3310 i will not miss you.

the reason why i am using you is because i have no other choice.

so now that i have some other choice, imma be leaving you behind.

Lag!

2010-08-27T23:32:00.002+08:00

i am such a retard.

i am pissed about my phone issue (again) now that my mom brought it up.

and i had just realise the impact of losing my phone.

which intensify the annoyance.

i was blinded by my assumption-hence-deluded-idea that i will be getting a new BB soon.

yep.

i lost it.

as in, i lost myself there.

by sinking into my own delusions.

what i realised:

1. i extended my contract with M1 for no fucking reason.

2. i even paid the penalty for extending the contract.

3. its for another fucking 2 years.

4. no chance of getting any phone any time soon.

5. i am stuck with 3310 for a much longer time than i expected.

i actually wrote a long letter the very next day after the incident, addressing to that (long stretch of profanities) with the intention of posting it here.

you know, just to vent it out.

but then i chucked it away soon after, as my delusions blinded me.

now i have no letter, no nothing.

i am as good as phone-less anyway.

i was tricked into watching a scam video on facebook last night.

it said the video is "so sad you will cry after you watched it."

so i watched and there was this ballerina standing far away from the camera.

there was a small tv close up on the right side of the screen.

i had my speakers up as i was listening to my wmp.

the girl was twirling for a few seconds before i sense something was wrong.

i thought something is gonna come out from the tv.

i was looking at the tv screen and about to stop the video when the ballerina appeared on the left side of the video, face close up, looking really horrifying, plus there's the piercing scream.

yeah.

haven't experienced that kind of shock for a very long time.

the speakers helped to intensify my shock.

my heart was thumping loudly, and i was trembling.

it was not fear. it was shock.

i didn't have time to react.

i just stare at the horror in front of me.

the next thing i do?

i tried to impose this on other people.

so i select a few victims whom i think have a strong heart.

turns out many had know what was gonna happen.

i am not eating well.

i am not living well.

i am not getting well.

i am not well.

__l__

Live your life.

2010-08-22T14:47:00.002+08:00

woke up at 1pm.

didn't realise i was THAT tired.

starting school on Tuesday!

1 year. and i am so outta here.

Tweet Tweet~

2010-08-20T07:07:00.004+08:00

So I found myself not able to sleep at all last night.

Woke up at 3AM and check out my Nokia 3310.

yeah. 3310. how awesome is that?

back to the old times~

-_-

and surf the net with no interest.

decided to re-vamp my blog at the spur of the moment.

and i created a twitter account.

i still can't believe i'd just tweeted.

.-.

it' raining so heavily now.

perfect for sleeping.

yet i am still here.

---

i mean nothing to you.

Even when i said i care.

i aint a friend, aint a foe.

Just an acquaintance who is turning into a stranger.

i crush my hopes, wishes and faith.

to make myself stronger.

nobody can alter me.

nothing can make me falter.

being in an empty shell,

makes me detached.

i no longer feel,

i am left with no senses.

losing and falling seems like a routine.

hurting others and getting yourself hurt.

this vicious yet unbreakable cycle .

it's not worth it.

so get yourself together, and move on.

Life sucks either way. At least when you're a vampire, you can shut off your feelings.

Facade

2010-08-18T18:27:00.003+08:00

oh i just LOVE hypocrites.

they make things, interesting.

play along, or expose them?

if you seek truth. you go for the latter.

but usually i just play along.

why deny them of their nature?

you know what irritates me?

prank callers.

not the typical ones who hang up as soon as you pick up.

you can simply put the phone down when they do so.

no.

it's the ones who keep their mouths shut when you answered.

why call in the first place if you are just gonna stay silent?

it's like seeing who can win the silence contest.

and the weird thing is they just stay on the phone, mute.

so the caller and the receiver will just stay on the phone, silent.

waiting for each other to speak.

well technically the receiver has spoken when he/she answered the phone.

so it's more of like waiting for the caller to speak.

i am watching SALT right now and the film failed to grab my attention since i am blogging as well.

i am glad i watched inception on the big screen instead.

step up 3 is out tomorrow!

i am confident it will be a hell lot better than street dance.

now, how shall i break the news to mom and dad?

No, someone has to die.

2010-08-15T16:37:00.002+08:00

Just finished watch IRIS.
the ending reminds me of what Ryan said.
"And there's the happy ending. But wait, no, someone HAS to die."
it's true.
why can't they just leave it as a happy ending?
i just don't get it.